Archive for the ‘Being Human’ Category

Law of Attraction: Step One.

Monday, December 1st, 2008

   

• Accept and Love Yourself, All of You

• I’ve been studying self-healing/self-help for at least 20 years.  And only recently I found a golden nugget of wisdom in a chicken’s carcass.  I’m talking about a huge yet simple lesson I just got from picking that chicken apart, limb-by-limb.  As I pulled the beautiful meat from the greasy bones, fat and skin, I finally understood the inner feeling of acceptance.   

• I have spent years picking my life apart, searching for the piece of knowledge that would fix my pain.  But as with the chicken, the yucky bits are as natural as the good.  THIS IS GOLD.  For me, this means:

• Accepting my own aging bones and less-than-perfect skin while embracing my beautiful smile, open heart and warm embrace.
• Accepting a dwindling bank account while confirming my ability to bring money into my life through clear intention and good work, like the biggest magnet in the world.
• Accepting self-doubt and fear of failure while honoring my continued great efforts and “I can” attitude.

• I could go on, but I think you see a pattern here.  I get that it really does take the “good” and “bad” to make all of me, my entire being full of compassion, joy and imperfection.  I am—we are—supposed to be this way… Human.

             

• I’ve heard it said many times, “we are all perfectly imperfect.”  And I’ve always blown it off thinking, “Yeah, you might be, but I’m going to be Perfect.”  What an uphill battle it’s been.  Striving for perfection is of course a losing game – although I played it well and mostly looked like I was winning… except when I would feel trapped and depressed. 

• ACCEPTANCE is key.  Not just for others but for myself.  Acceptance as if God, Spirit, Buddha, whatever you call this amazing energy, was living inside of me every moment, radiating unconditional love into every cell of my being.  This is an opening to life, to living.  Acceptance.

• I NOW KNOW that I am worth putting my dreams to paper and drawing my desires into my life.  As the Law of Attraction suggests, we are what we think. Now, with this greater acceptance of the good and the imperfect, I can effectively use all the techniques I have shared with my clients about the Law of Attraction on myself.

Our Attitudes and Perceptions Shape Our Lives

Friday, November 28th, 2008

Written by Robin Dowdy

The law of attraction states that what we focus our energy upon expands. Focusing on love generates more love. Focusing on the wrongdoing of others generates more people doing wrong. We create our own experience.

When I first started my business, I focused on how I didn’t have enough money or clients. Despite my continual growth, I only saw the gaps in my calendar and bank account. I was stuck in “not enough.” When I was paid, I tossed the checks aside and didn’t deposit them for weeks rationalizing that I wasn’t attached to the money and could alleviate my fears. I thought I was using the law of attraction when I visualized my full client load and full bank account at times during the day, but lack motivated my overall demeanor. The book, The Soul of Money, by Lynne Twist, bridged the gap between my visions of “more” and my belief in “not enough.”

Twist refers to the concept of GREAT FULLNESS. She describes” grateful” as recognizing the GREAT FULLNESS of our lives, bank accounts, relationships, etc. It is experiencing our lives as being so full they are about to spill over to the rest of the world. I embodied this lesson of GREAT FULLNESS accidentally one day after receiving a check. I carelessly tossed the check onto the front steps where my kids sprayed the hose nearby. It hit me that in my attempt to be nonchalant about money, I was devaluing my client, their payment, and my own contribution. To truly experience GREAT FULLNESS, I needed to honor that check, express thanks to the universe for connecting me with this client, and deposit it into my account so that this money could spill over into the rest of the world. I immediately felt more full, connected to my client and the world, and more positive about my business. I felt possibility flow in.

Our attitudes and perceptions generate our lives. We have the power to choose lack, fear, and separateness, or fullness, trust, and connection. Regardless of what you seek more of in your life, start by nurturing what you already have. Honor the money that you do have. Connect with the people whom you already know and love them deeply. Nurture that car, house, or TV that you already have by treating it as if it was the most valuable one on the planet. That which we pay attention to expands. The GREAT FULLNESS of your current existence will fill you with possibility and lead to your dreams flowing in with ease.

Robin Dowdy is parent, educator, business owner and coach.

You can reach her at: Shine Through Coaching, Seattle, WA; 425.941.0819; robin.dowdy@gmail.com

Am I Giving Enough?

Monday, August 25th, 2008

• Written by Robin Dowdy 

 

Am I giving enough?

Am I doing enough?

Am I being a good enough mother? 

These questions plague the serenity of all mothers at one time or another. They hit me when I leave my crying kids and go to work or take time for myself. They assault me when I yell at my kids in anger or when my kids are throwing the tenth or twentieth tantrum of the day over yet another minor detail and I am less than supportive.

 

While these nagging questions serve many purposes, one of the most important is the chance for me to step back and reflect on how I am being and to reaffirm that, yes, I am giving, doing, and being a good enough mother.

 

The moments when I feel like I have let my kids down will happen over and over in my life as a mother and there will be many times when, “no” is the answer to the questions above. No, I am not giving, doing, or being enough because I am completely spent. And even in those cases, the answer is still, “yes” because first and foremost, I, and all mothers, am human. We will fail our children again and again. My own faults range from unbearable to minor and they will affect my children’s lives. And, rather than being cause for despair or resignation, this fact is actually a cause for celebrating the love and connection that my faults invite me to embrace.

 

More important than what my faults are as a mother, is how I handle the situations that arise when they impact my kids. Each instance offers the opportunity for demonstration of what it means to extend and be love in the moments when I am most vulnerable to my own humanity. Admitting my own wrongdoing and asking forgiveness of my children teaches grace and humility. Changing my behavior over time and being transparent about that process builds trust and intimacy. Stopping in the midst of an angry tirade and taking a breath and gathering all in for hugs demonstrates that emotions are transient and though powerful, are not to be feared. Relating to my children’s mistakes and emotional ups and downs with empathy and loving boundaries rather than having to fix them to make my kids look good, teaches them acceptance and trust.

 

Though it feels awful to let my kids down in any way and I strive to do as little harm as possible, I am regularly reminded that through my being imperfect, I am allowing them to learn how to be with and move through their own imperfections and to know that love is present no matter what. Isn’t that better than having to be perfect and what we all want anyway?  

• Robin Dowdy is parent, educator, business owner and coach.
• You can reach her at:
• Shine Through Coaching, Seattle, WA
• 425.941.0819; robin.dowdy@gmail.com 

Single Parent on Vacation

Monday, August 11th, 2008

• This blog begins a set of entries about being human.  We’re all human, or at least I think we are (my husband sometimes tells me he’s from Pluto and sometimes I think he really might be).  In any case, I believe the more we allow ourselves to be human and support each other from this standpoint, rather than trying to be perfect, the happier and healthier we’ll be.
• I’m in Indiana lake country visiting family with my daughter.  Kent, my husband, needed to be home for work and we’re staying with my 85-year-old grandmother.  So I’m essentially a single parent for the week.
• I love my daughter Amelia more than words could say — honestly.  She is an amazing 4 year old with a loving heart, smart mind and sassy wit.  And, she is 4.  I forget this too often… when I expect her to put her dishes in the sink the first time I ask (rather than the 3rd time when I’m close to yelling), or get dressed quickly so she doesn’t miss her ride to school, or stop squealing in a high-pitched voice over that funny thing I don’t get that she made up.

• Anyway last night, tired and ready for some alone time, I forgot she was 4.  She said she was scared to go get nighttime books by herself.  I knew this cottage was a new place, but the light was on and the books were in plain sight just two steps away!  ”How could you be scared?!  There is nothing to be afraid of!” She pleaded and whined and I found myself raising my voice and threatening “No, I will not go with you.  This is ridiculous! There will be No Books if you don’t get out there and pick them out right NOW!” Amelia cried and I conceded and walked the two steps to the hall where the pile of books lay.
• I was feeling badly as she fell asleep on my shoulder mid-way through the second book, I confessed to the universe my less-than-patient mistakes of the night.  Then I asked for help from the I Ching (my trusted guide).  Question: Why do I get so worked up when I could simply help her?
• Answer:  Hexagram 35 - Progressing - change lines 1 & 3  Note: After many years of the Wilhem Baynes translation, I now like using Carol Anthony and Hannah Moog’s contemporary transmutation;  I CHING, The Oracle of the Cosmic Way.
• There were many nuggets of wisdom about change and growing-up, which I wrote in my journal.  And on page 301 I was hit with a brick.  Line 1  ”This line can point to a person who has been attempting to persuade, use leverage and contrivance, instill guilt, claim that there is something wrong with the other, argue, threaten or use physical force.”
• Yea, this was what I did.  Guilt, persuasion and threats can come out of me faster than a bullet from an AK40.  I suppose I come by it naturally through family, who got it from their family behavior (like a bad gene strain).  No matter why I do it, I know it’s wrong.

• I kissed my sleeping beauty still laying on my shoulder and told her that I’m sorry. Tomorrow I will need to tell her again so she can actually hear it, “Mommy messed up… I need to remember to be patient, even when I’m tired… I love you very much.”