Archive for December, 2009

My amazing daughter Amelia and money

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

The Beauty and Blunder of Being Human

A girl in love with beauty and the human spirit, this is my chronicle of inspirations, connections, flaws and faux pas – it takes all to be a real human being living a full and conscious life.  Cheers to accepting ALL these parts of ourselves, and experiencing more joy from doing so!

Beauty: My amazing daughter Amelia and money

Yesterday we had our first big “ah ha” lesson about the value of money.  This is a huge topic, a topic that spans lifetimes.

So it’s a week before Christmas and Amelia had her heart set on buying a soft, mechanical, purring dog with it’s own bed and comb.  She wanted it so badly that she said she would pay for it with her own money.  Amelia is 5 -1/2 so her piggy bank is not loaded.  I told her we would go home and count the money from her “spend” section of her Edward Jones piggy bank (Thank you Allen!!  This bank is a lifesaver in this particular money-christening moment)!

Once home and counting, Amelia made it to 3 dollars and 82 cents.  The cost of the dog was 30 dollars plus tax.  Now it’s time to break the news.  “Honey you need 30 more dollars to have enough to pay for the dog,” I said.  “I can take the money from the rest of my bank, I don’t need it.  I can use it on the dog!” Amelia replied.  “No. No, honey,” I said.  “You need that money in those other areas.  Your savings for when you really need something and you don’t have the money.  Your investment section is to help you buy a really cool grown-up bike or a car some day.  And your donation money is to give to someone in need, to open your heart and share with others in a way that is meaningful to you.”  Ok, lots of big talk for a five year old, but if she got just 10% of it, I made a good start!

So she asked me to pay for it saying she would pay me back — $30 is a lot for a 5 year old to pay back (4 months of setting the table at $0.25 a pop every night).  “Too big of a loan” I told her.  “$2 or $3  I would be willing to loan you, but you need to build up your credit history so I will feel more comfortable with a big loan like $30.”  “What’s credit history?” she asked, concurrently sobbing because she knew she was not going to get the dog.   I tried to explain it in 5 year-old terms ending with “You have to work your way up to $30.”  She sobbed more.  “That won’t due Mama.” I heard.  “No.  That won’t due.  I need something warm and cuddly to comfort me.  I need that dog!  I have to have it now.”  Very sad face.

OH Shit, I thought.  This is where retail therapy begins and I so don’t want her to get caught in that nightmare – I know the vicious cycle first hand, and it sucks!  Just stay away form the stores Amelia.  Stay away!!!

So I rubbed her back as she cried and cried, very disappointed.  I told her she could snuggle with the soft cuddly stuffies she had.  No that won’t due, I was told.  “I need something new Mama.”  My head was spinning.  Don’t panic I told myself.  This is not about your past, this is about Amelia.  Ask questions.  Don’t make assumptions.  Ask questions! So I asked, “Why is it so important that you have something new tonight, Amelia?”   The answer: “Tomorrow is a big day.  I’m going to have to get up in front of a lot of people and say my lines for the play and I’m really scared.  I need something really special to make me feel better.”  More crying.  Big, big crying.  Oh… now I get it. I said to myself.  Big moment.  Now I know where this is coming from.  Oh, Thank God!! I’m so relieved. I continued to rub her back and sympathize with her feelings.  “Yep, getting on stage and performing in your first big school play is a big deal.  And it is scary.  Awh, sweet girl.  I’m sorry you feel so scared.  But I know you’re going to do a great job.”  Soon the crying quieted down.  There was a big sigh.  I sighed too.

Then she told me she had to wear all black on stage – Oh! That’s new news.  Not much black in this little girls closet, I realized.  NEXT! We were off to figuring out what she was going to wear…  No more talk about the mechanical soft purring dog.  No more talk about money.  It was all about the black clothes now - a nice needed distraction.

We made it through my daughter’s first major impulse to use a retail band-aid, and this is truly a beautiful thing!!

Note: Amelia made sure she set the table that night and asked for her allowance right after she completed her task.  Maybe the 10% she got was more about “work equals more money in the bank!” rather than “don’t shop when you have an emotional hole to fill.”  No matter the lesson she learned, she’s on the road to becoming a fiscal participant in our capitalistic human society.   If she’s lucky, and we can keep parenting right, maybe a conscious fiscal participant too.  ☺

More time for good habits

Monday, December 21st, 2009

The Beauty and Blunder of Being Human

A girl in love with beauty and the human spirit, this is my chronicle of inspirations, connections, flaws and faux pas – it takes all to be a real human being living a full and conscious life.  Cheers to accepting ALL these parts of ourselves, and experiencing more joy from doing so!

Beauty: More time to form good habits.

There is not as much client work right now before the holidays… and I’m very grateful for it.  I’m getting the chance to form some intentional and personally positive habits, like writing this blog! and taking some quiet time for myself.

After my husband and daughter were out the door exploring their own days, the morning began with an appreciation for the beautiful trees outside my bedroom window – they give me strength and inspiration every day I remember to SEE them.  Something so simple like stopping to appreciate nature almost always starts my day on a positive note.

Then I was onto 20 minutes of reading about collaboration and sufficiency from The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist (I am completely stoked about this book.  I can feel it changing my relationship with money and my life, one page at a time — sometimes I have to re-read a page or two to make sure I’ve got it, this book is not for whimps).

Next, a 10 minute meditation on the section I had read – the prophecy of the world of the Eagle (the great mind) and the Condor (the great spirit) coming together to nurture and teach each other, creating a more fulfilling life for all – begins on page 167.  We Americans tend to live only in the world of the Eagle — we are great thinkers but often lost when it comes to connection with spirit.  Whereas the Achuar tribe and other indigenous people primarily live in the world of the Condor — they are spiritually rich but missing the “know-how” of planning and functioning in larger society.  The prophecy states that there will be a time when both sides NEED to come together to support each other in order to fulfill the whole of humanity.

This has me thinking about who I would like to collaborate with, what I need to learn and who I would like to learn from… and how to get up the guts to ask them.  How about you?  What’s on your plate to learn about?  Who do you think would make a good mentor or teacher for you?  And, can you find the gumption to make the ask?  (As Brian Johnson says in Philosopher’s Notes can you “live in the stretch zone”?)

I’ll make you a deal, I’ll ask if you will

The Beauty and Blunder of Being Human

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

The Beauty and Blunder of Being Human

A girl in love with beauty and the human spirit, this is my chronicle of inspirations, connections, flaws and faux pas – it takes all to be a real human being living a full and conscious life.  Cheers to accepting ALL these parts of ourselves, and experiencing more joy from doing so!

Log One:

Beauty: The Beginning.

One of my human flaws is coming up with big new ideas, beginning them with zest and ending them only half way through.  Any one else ever experienced this?  So I’m hoping this new beginning is more than a weeklong… I hope it builds on itself.  AND, I hope that my love for writing, transparency and sharing find a clear voice, a few ears to listen, and perhaps even a conversation.

I’m a bit nervous.  I’ve written blogs before but I’m starting this one with more on the table, for myself — I really do want this to turn into something more than another beginning… and I’m a bit afraid to say that – to really put myself out there.  So wish me luck!  May I hold myself to the task and enjoy the process.

Here it goes, my commitment is (drum roll please ): For at lease the next month, I will write or post something of my wonderful and humble human experience to The Beauty and Blunder of Being Human!

Yahoo – I did it.  I made the commitment!!!

Now let’s see what comes next :).