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The value of beauty — a tricky thing

November 30th, 2009

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Beauty, style, “looking good” – as human beings many of us are in a tug of war with them and the money it costs to have beauty in our lives.

In my 11 years as an interior designer I have noticed that many, if not most of us, are drawn to things we find beautiful, whether it’s a cool pair of shoes, an incredible hotel or home, or the sunset falling behind the trees. On one hand we feel satiated, excited and deeply fed by our connection with these lovely things. But on the other hand, many of us feel the need to denounce beauty as something frivolous, surface, unnecessary, and a waste of money and time, perhaps out of a belief that we can’t afford or don’t deserve it.

Our spirit and our ego act like the cartoon version of the angel and the devil,  one on each shoulder fighting it out — creating chaos in our mind. “Can I have it, this beautiful thing? Do I need it, or is it indulgent? Oh, I can go without it. But I want it!” Back and forth, and on and on. Have you ever had this conversation with yourself before?

So which reigns true? Is beauty a human need or a frivolous desire? My answer: beauty can be both.

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What type of life would we lead if we were not to open our hearts and smile at the blooming of a flower, the turning of a leaf from green to crimson orange and gold, or get excited about a lovely piece of clothing that makes us feel like a million bucks or a luscious new paint color on our walls? Beauty and style connect with our hearts, stimulate creativity, bring us joy!! What, exactly, we find beautiful is an individual choice, but we all know it when we see if for ourselves.

AND this being said, if our closet if full of beautiful clothes and we are lucky to see stunning sunsets from our home every day, if then we still feel the constant need for more… perhaps it is not the open-hearted, creative connection with beauty we are seeking. Likely we are using beautiful things to fill a void inside us like a band-aid on the “not good enough” thinking that plagues us inside. Does this mean that if you’re blessed to have enough wanting more is bad? No. It means take a look inside yourself and see where the desire for something beautiful is coming from.

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Does your connection with this beautiful thing open your heart and bring you joy, or is it covering up a gashing hole of low self-esteem? How you feel when you imagine paying for it will clue you into it’s hook on you– light and full of warmth or anxious or “deserving.” If it’s the later, a walk in the woods, connecting with the beauty of nature, might be a better fix.

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This entry was posted on Monday, November 30th, 2009 at 3:21 pm and is filed under Being Human. There are 2 Responses to “The value of beauty — a tricky thing” :
Caitlin Hotaling Says:
December 17th, 2009 at 3:14 pm

Oh what a thought provoking topic. I am always in between the two spaces, I deserve it, I can live with out it. There are definitly times I feel the void and want to fill it with things, then there is the urge to own a beautiful thing because it will “light me up”. Recently I’ve had a clothing binge, new and current styles. Part of me still feels guilty, yet they were needed, and I look good in them and feel good in them, so what’s the problem? Well, I’m a stay at home mom, where do I go that I need to dress decent? I’m the mom who goes to the grocery store in sweats, real attractive. But who do I need to be attractive to? My husband could care less, or so he says. I go to a place in my head where I say it doesn’t matter, who cares, I’m too old to care anymore, then realize I’m selling myself short. Living in the country but close to the city makes it even more challenging, I see the what not to wear folks right along w/the super styling together ones. Where do I fit in? Not sure. But that’s all about the outer beauty of me, not the other part of this that deals w/home, etc.. Like I said, good topic.

Admin Says:
December 17th, 2009 at 3:43 pm

Hey Caitlin,

Thanks so much for commenting on this! I think you might be my first official comment — aside from sordid spammers :)
Yep, I agree that the material world can get tricky. We all have wants and needs, and fulfilling them is part of being human. I think the question is where we draw the line and how hard? Are we buying a beautiful thing to be “good enough” or “keep up with the Jones” or to avoid dealing with something that really needs our attention instead? Or are we buying something because we love it, it opens our heart, or we just plain ‘ol need it? For me, the key really is how I feel when I’m putting the cash or card down on the counter to pay for it, like I said, light and loving or heavy and guilty. I DO think we all need to experience “beauty” in the many forms it shows itself in order to live fully and joyfully. AND, it’s good thing we can find it in nature all around us, in a child’s face or sweet and sassy comment, in seeing a couple holding hands, and in a clothing or home item we choose to have in our lives. When I can be grateful for the FREE beauty that is all around me, then it makes paying for it much easier.

In another entry coming soon, I’ll explore my own human blunder with shopping this holiday season (all the sales are just so darn enticing). I often wonder how many others are experiencing the same inner-dilemma.

Much love to you!! And, thanks again for taking the time to engage :)

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