Letting Go and Learning From My Past

June 22nd, 2009

Piper Lauri Salogga

I completed a wonderful coaching course a couple weeks ago, The Art of Developing Leaders. On the way home I was reviewing the stands (grounded commitments) I was taking for my self and my life. It came to me, like Providence speaking, that one was missing. So I promptly added it:

I stand for letting go of the pain and unfulfilled expectations from my past;
I am all that I need to be, I have all that I need to have.

I’ve been on emotional roller coaster ever since.

The last two weeks I’ve felt so small inside, like a victim trapped in my own craziness. I’ve been revisiting all the LACK — I’ve felt very unsure, insecure, alone, and not good enough. Down this road more times than I can count, I’ve taken many a course, therapy session, and performed many forgiveness exercises, I did not want to be here again!

Some of you may already know what’s been going on here. Living in the depths of it, I just got it this morning.

While doing an I Ching reading, The Complete I Ching by Alfred Huang, I pulled Lu, Fulfillment. Reading the passage I was struck by the words “able and content to stay in a lower position…walk(ing) alone with a plain heart to carry out (my) ideal.” Page 114. Then I read, “It is important to review the past and summarize the journey from time to time. This is the only way to accumulate wisdom and achieve success” Page 115.

I took a stand to let go of the pain from my past, a deep dive, as Amba Gale would say, into my commitment to clear my past so that I can live contentedly in the present. SO what happened next was to be expected… the left over pain from my past came up, big time, to be cleared. It would’ve been great if I didn’t have to go here again… but I’m not done with it. The root of my mental undoing is long and I’m in the process of digging deeper to get it all out.

I’m looking forward to freer days when my mind is more still, trusting that the moment I am in is perfect and I am just as I need to be in it.

This too shall pass… and I will be wiser, more content for it!

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