Archive for February, 2009

Success and Essence

Sunday, February 15th, 2009

 

by Robin Dowdy

I met a woman the other day who was incredible. She radiated energy, strength, and intelligence. Her beauty was clear and glowing. All around her, people rose to meet her, both figuratively and literally. She was a presence.

There was only one problem. She did not know her impact on others and did not know this was her true self. Thus, when in conversation with her, it often felt like she was on the verge of attack. At first I expected the attack to fall on me as she is so smart I was certain she would pounce on my own foibles. But after relaxing into my own being, I realized the attack was on her.

It was as if she kept beating her head with an invisible hammer. She thought the hammer was keeping her in line, motivated, and perfect. Unfortunately, the hammer was distracting herself and everyone else from the perfection she already embodied. She thought she was having marketing problems with her business. What I asked her was, “what difference would it make to your business to take the hammer away and trust who you are?” She welled up into tears.

Many of us believe that we have to work hard to succeed. We push ourselves to meet some external barometer of “success” that continually changes. We are judgmental, hyper-critical, self-deprecating, and down-right mean to ourselves in service of making ourselves succeed. We exhaust ourselves while making an incredible mess. The people around us stagger away dazed and confused by our attacks, and we wonder why we don’t have deeper relationships or aren’t attracting more clients.

As a coach, I work with my clients to distinguish and rely upon their own unique essence. The essence is the true self, our innate greatness. The essence is something that exists all the time, it is who we are. We don’t have to try to be it, we just are.

My job is to reflect this essence to my clients and then reflect when they are choosing fear, effort, strategy, or walls instead of their essence. What they finally learn is that all this effort is wasted energy. They are already perfect. They cannot tarnish their wholeness.

When we get this and sink into who we really are, questions of success are not even on the horizon. Our being is like a magnet. It draws love and connection, and it makes a difference. By simply being who we are, we cannot help but experience a full, beautiful, successful life.

New Year, New Attitude

Monday, February 9th, 2009

A new approach to business this year

A New Year has begun: 2009. With the start of every new year I’m often filled with hope, and overwhelm – what do I want to accomplish this year? It’s exciting and always a big proposition I take very seriously.

For the last couple years my goals were focused on growing my business (being a good mother and wife were in the scope too, but took second fiddle). My ego definitely gave its input on my goals and my mind started working hard at how to make those goals happen. I worked hard for my accomplishments the past couple years. I have a lot to be proud of, but I don’t have an overarching feeling of success. Wondering why, I picked up a book called The Art of Possibility.

The Art of Possibility by Rosamund and Banjmin Zander gave me a new approach to the idea of “success.” My new approach is this: How can I make a contribution this year? Contribute vs. Accomplish. It has a very different feeling about it and has created a whole new feeling.

So far my primary contribution is being present in the moment, noticing all the wonderful little things from the cool design on my bedspread to the strong green trees outside my window to my daughter’s smile. Being joyful and grateful for what is in front of me is making every conversation I have, and everything I think and do, have a positive loving impact.

I’m trying on a couple other concepts from The Art of Possibility too:

Playing with the idea that “It’s All Invented” (chapter 1). For me, this means understanding that I create my own reality. This understanding gives me the power to be free and full of inspiration. I’m ditching the victim and becoming the author – creating, rather than reacting. I am choosing what to see, feel and be. It’s so empowering! It’s as simple as imagining that parking space in the busiest part of downtown and having someone pull out of theirs just as you’re arriving. I can apply that same clear visualization to self-image, the outcome of a meeting, or the acquisition of a new client.

Another concept is “Giving an A” (chapter 3) to everyone I come in contact with. Doing so makes it easy to smile with an open heart and connect with each person I meet, knowing that there is nothing better. There is no faster checker at the grocery store, no cooler date/gift for Valentine’s Day, no better person to network with, no more stimulating conversation to be in. Every person I am with has a unique contribution to make and I am thrilled to receive it, whatever it is.

I’m taking a risk this year and trusting that being present and listening for the answers about how to contribute will guide me correctly, each day and each week, creating new and better accomplishments with more impact and ease. SO far it’s working perfectly. The connections I have made with other’s a potent and full of business opportunity. Wonderful new clients have come my way and I am delighted to be of service to them!

What do you think? How would you feel approaching your business from this perspective?