Letting Go and Learning From My Past

June 22nd, 2009

Piper Lauri Salogga

I completed a wonderful coaching course a couple weeks ago, The Art of Developing Leaders. On the way home I was reviewing the stands (grounded commitments) I was newly taking for my self and my life. It came to me, like Providence speaking, that one was missing. So I promptly added it:

I stand for letting go of the pain and unfulfilled expectations from my past;
I am all that I need to be, I have all that I need to have.

I’ve been on emotional roller coaster ever since.

The last two weeks I’ve felt so small inside, like a victim trapped in my own hell. I’ve been revisiting all the LACK in my childhood (my mother’s unrelenting criticism, my father’s emotional disappearance, not many “I love you’s” said over the 18 years under the same roof). I’ve felt very unsure, insecure, alone, and not good enough.

Down this road more times than I can count, I’ve taken many a course, therapy session, and performed many forgiveness exercises within myself and with my parents, I thought I was DONE WITH THIS CRAP! “Why did I take that stupid course, this isn’t what I wanted to get out of it! What a waste of money.” Yes. Trapped in my own victimization again.

Some of you may already know what’s been going on here. Living in the depths of it, I just got it this morning.

While doing an I Ching reading, The Complete I Ching by Alfred Huang, I pulled Lu, Fulfillment. Reading the passage I was struck by the words “able and content to stay in a lower position…walk(ing) alone with a plain heart to carry out (my) ideal.” Page 114. Then I read, “It is important to review the past and summarize the journey from time to time. This is the only way to accumulate wisdom and achieve success” Page 115.

I took a stand to let go of the pain from my past, a deep dive, as Amba Gale would say, into my commitment to clear my past so that I can live contentedly in the present. SO what happened next was to be expected… the left over pain from my past came up, big time, to be cleared. It would’ve been great if I didn’t have to go here again… but I’m not done with it. The root of my mental undoing is long and I’m in the process of digging deeper to get it all out.

I’m having lunch with my Dad today. I’m not sure what to expect. I know I’m NOT going to blame, he and my mom did the best that they could and I know that they love me. Maybe I just need to ask him to tell the little girl inside me how much he loves her.

I stand for knowing I am deeply loved.

Connecting from a Loving Heart

April 29th, 2009

I’m sweating as I’m posting this. I have not written poetry in a long time, but was moved to after a short, yet very authentic connection with a new friend that left me pensive about the question, “what makes someone shine (radiate from their heart out into the world)?”.

Seeing Me

Bright and shining,
life living inside.

It is love, an open heart,
pushing the edges of my core
so that I feel the stretching,
embrace the living.

It is my breath, deep,
connected to my soul
where dark and light are one –
where there is no wrong.

Oh, the living from this place!
Raw, the loving
so rich, pulsing
with the rhythm of each amazing person

showing me their gift,
vulnerable,
unique presence.
I feel you and your life’s longing.

I thank you for your love,
touching my human heart with yours.
Powerful, yet
as simple as being you, seeing me.

Learning about life from America’s Next Top Model

April 22nd, 2009

At home sick today I found myself on the Oxygen channel watching five episodes, back to back, of last season’s America’s Next Top Model. Within the first 15 minutes I was drawn in, hook line and sinker. But why, especially since I’m not a big TV watcher?

Sure, the show is about the hopes and dreams of becoming a model and making it big. The fashion and beauty that fills the show is alluring. And, the drama between the girls makes for interesting TV-storyline-tension. But none of these would usually be enough to keep me addicted for 5 episodes in a row.

Amba Gale from the Gale Leadership Development always says that if someone is ready to learn and grow, you could give them the yellow pages and they would find something of substance to use as grist for the mill. Unexpectedly, that’s what happened to me. This is what I took away from America’s Next Top Model:

1. I’m physically not top model material, most of us aren’t, and never will be – so we need to stop trying and love our selves the way we are!

2. Our beauty comes through in our own unique self-expression – be vulnerable and let it shine.

3. True Confidence, rather than overbearing confidence manufactured for the moment, is what makes us attractive to our selves and each other.

4. If seeded at an early age, self-confidence comes naturally — like me, if yours was not seeded early, it’s time to start pulling the weeds, tilling the soil and planting those seeds so you can blossom.

5. Authenticity and belief in yourself is at the root of all success.

6. Passion and the willingness to consistently work at what you love is noticed, honored and rewarded by others.

7. And finally, don’t talk “shit” (or gossip) about others because it will only come back to bite you.

Hilarious, I know. But true none-the-less! I guess lying on the couch for 5 hours watching TV wasn’t as worthless as I thought it was.

Creating a Clear Path to Your Desires

March 30th, 2009

by Piper Lauri Salogga

Vision Boarding an empowering and fun Law of Attraction technique.

I love creating a vision board. It’s the perfect way to bring my 40 year-old adult together with my ever present pre-schooler, and Spirit. What a GREAT combination this is — Being present, responsible and freely creative!!

So what is this fun enlightening process? How does it work?

The tools are my favorite magazines; a piece of 12×20 cardboard, or bigger; scissors, glue stick and an open mind.

1) I like to start with a short meditation to clear my mind of the massive to do list and daily stresses. If I can get in the mental pocket, truly this can be just 5 minutes.

2) Sometimes I make a list of all my dreams: “Travel to Brazil and Thailand with my family; write a best selling book; remodel my home, exterior landscape included, etc.” This list helps to prep my mind for my next step.  I also recommend reading my previous blog on the Law of Attraction: 3 Steps to get inside your deep desires and find out how this technique really works.

3) With candles lit and my favorite music in the background to further get me in the mood, and sometimes a yummy glass of wine and munchies to inspire my senses, I start flipping through the pages of my magazines. I rip out any page that “lights me up,” or creates excitement in my mind and body, images and words. I love this feeling of full possibility, no limits, anything can happen! For me, this is the drug of life, feeding me at my core.

4) After I have a plethora of pages in front of me I start cutting. With care, I decide how I want each empowering image to show up in my future life-collage – full page, blocked words or finely cut shapes and details.

5) Then I start gluing. I love this part too. I never know exactly what it’s going to look like when it’s done. This process is full-on creation one image at a time until a masterpiece appears in front of me, my beautiful road map to my dreams come true. Sometimes I elaborate with colored pencil, marker or paint – if I’m really in the artistic mood. There’s no “right way” here. What you are lead to do in the moment is Perfect.

6) When I’m complete with my vision board I usually attach my list of dreams to the back in case I feel like reading it in the future.

7) Then I find the best place to display it so I can regularly remind myself of what I am drawing into my life. Hanging it in a place that feels safe and supported is important – protecting your dreams from criticism is key, they are sacred after all!! You can also refer to the Bagua for key placement in your office or home to further your intentions for your future.

So set a creative date for yourself. Whether it’s in the peace of your own company or with some of your closest friends, don’t delay. The universe is waiting to find out what you want so it can give it to you.

Let me know how it goes. I so love hearing people’s vision boarding stories.

Another great way to use the vision board process is through stream of consciousness coaching. Allowing the images and your subconscious to show you what you need to see, you can get your over-thinking mind out of the way and get straight to the source of what you need to know to move forward in your life. Melissa Wadsworth is an excellent resource for this process: What You Notice Matters .

Law of Attraction: 3 Principles

March 17th, 2009

I attended an amazing presentation on Prosperity tonight. The presenter was Melody Larson, author of The Beginner’s Guide to Abundance and Delighting the Soul.

Melody is a beautiful, grounded and very spiritual woman who speaks her passion with a calm, continuous flow of knowledge. Having read copious books from the Dark Ages to the present time about the energy of life, law of attraction, self-healing and personal development, Melody distilled down the law of prosperity into 3 principles:

1) “Deep desire is the Target.” She is talking about DEEP desire, the kind you cannot live without, from the center of your heart. This can get confusing because sometimes the mind/ego will trick you into believing that the nagging sound “I can’t live with out that Mercedes, Gucci bag, gorgeous man, etc.” is the DEEP desire I’m referring to. It is not.

The desire I’m taking about is the kind that you feel in a still moment, a pull to share some knowledge or passion with the world around you, for example, using your unique gift of gab and your love of nature to promote The Audubon Society. There are as many unique DEEP desires as there are people in the world. The most important thing to know is that this desire makes a true, peaceful, and enthusiastic connection with YOUR heart and soul.

2) “It’s God’s job.” She’s talking about whose job it is to bring in the money. We are used to thinking we’re the ones responsible for bringing in the bacon — the harder we work the more money we’ll make. WRONG. This is a farce the industrial world would have us believe so we will all just keep working harder and harder. Money is energy. The minute we get clear about that DEEP Desire and start moving into action in connection with that desire, intuition will steer us in the right direction, and God, or Spirit, or Source will provide. It’s amazing where the money comes from… places we never could have guessed. And that is why it is our job to TRUST God to provide, following our passion and acting from a place of love and service. It’s called a massive leap of faith (not blind, rather with eyes wide open).

3) “Give back to the Source.” Source meaning Spirit or God. As Melody explained, there are many ways to give back to the energy that gives to us, but they fall into two categories in my mind: give generously to another in need – whether with your time or your money, and show your gratitude for all that you are and have – thanking Spirit (that’s what I like to call it) and others for their contribution to your life.

Giving back is so important to the process of opening your heart and creating a positive flow of energy. Remember that saying “We get what we give.” Well if what you want is acknowledgment in the form of praise and money, then you best give it and get that stream aflowin’.

These three principles work together. You need to work them all to experience your own inner connection with money open wide and provide. It’s a personal process, a relationship between you and your Source, and an awareness of your purpose. It requires gratitude for the opportunity to act on your purpose and trust that the process will work its magic if you continue to live in a loving conscious way.

Melody offered so much more in her short presentation to our Seattle Feng Shui Guild meeting, but I think you should just check her out for yourself. She has podcasts and blogcasts and much more on her site. She is going to be teaching a series of workshops called P.A.T.H. http://www.delightingthesoul.com

My my DEEP desire is to be writing and working with all of you. Thank you for being a part of my life!

Success and Essence

February 15th, 2009

 

by Robin Dowdy

I met a woman the other day who was incredible. She radiated energy, strength, and intelligence. Her beauty was clear and glowing. All around her, people rose to meet her, both figuratively and literally. She was a presence.

There was only one problem. She did not know her impact on others and did not know this was her true self. Thus, when in conversation with her, it often felt like she was on the verge of attack. At first I expected the attack to fall on me as she is so smart I was certain she would pounce on my own foibles. But after relaxing into my own being, I realized the attack was on her.

It was as if she kept beating her head with an invisible hammer. She thought the hammer was keeping her in line, motivated, and perfect. Unfortunately, the hammer was distracting herself and everyone else from the perfection she already embodied. She thought she was having marketing problems with her business. What I asked her was, “what difference would it make to your business to take the hammer away and trust who you are?” She welled up into tears.

Many of us believe that we have to work hard to succeed. We push ourselves to meet some external barometer of “success” that continually changes. We are judgmental, hyper-critical, self-deprecating, and down-right mean to ourselves in service of making ourselves succeed. We exhaust ourselves while making an incredible mess. The people around us stagger away dazed and confused by our attacks, and we wonder why we don’t have deeper relationships or aren’t attracting more clients.

As a coach, I work with my clients to distinguish and rely upon their own unique essence. The essence is the true self, our innate greatness. The essence is something that exists all the time, it is who we are. We don’t have to try to be it, we just are.

My job is to reflect this essence to my clients and then reflect when they are choosing fear, effort, strategy, or walls instead of their essence. What they finally learn is that all this effort is wasted energy. They are already perfect. They cannot tarnish their wholeness.

When we get this and sink into who we really are, questions of success are not even on the horizon. Our being is like a magnet. It draws love and connection, and it makes a difference. By simply being who we are, we cannot help but experience a full, beautiful, successful life.

New Year, New Attitude

February 9th, 2009

A new approach to business this year

A New Year has begun: 2009. With the start of every new year I’m often filled with hope, and overwhelm – what do I want to accomplish this year? It’s exciting and always a big proposition I take very seriously.

For the last couple years my goals were focused on growing my business (being a good mother and wife were in the scope too, but took second fiddle). My ego definitely gave its input on my goals and my mind started working hard at how to make those goals happen. I worked hard for my accomplishments the past couple years. I have a lot to be proud of, but I don’t have an overarching feeling of success. Wondering why, I picked up a book called The Art of Possibility.

The Art of Possibility by Rosamund and Banjmin Zander gave me a new approach to the idea of “success.” My new approach is this: How can I make a contribution this year? Contribute vs. Accomplish. It has a very different feeling about it and has created a whole new feeling.

So far my primary contribution is being present in the moment, noticing all the wonderful little things from the cool design on my bedspread to the strong green trees outside my window to my daughter’s smile. Being joyful and grateful for what is in front of me is making every conversation I have, and everything I think and do, have a positive loving impact.

I’m trying on a couple other concepts from The Art of Possibility too:

Playing with the idea that “It’s All Invented” (chapter 1). For me, this means understanding that I create my own reality. This understanding gives me the power to be free and full of inspiration. I’m ditching the victim and becoming the author – creating, rather than reacting. I am choosing what to see, feel and be. It’s so empowering! It’s as simple as imagining that parking space in the busiest part of downtown and having someone pull out of theirs just as you’re arriving. I can apply that same clear visualization to self-image, the outcome of a meeting, or the acquisition of a new client.

Another concept is “Giving an A” (chapter 3) to everyone I come in contact with. Doing so makes it easy to smile with an open heart and connect with each person I meet, knowing that there is nothing better. There is no faster checker at the grocery store, no cooler date/gift for Valentine’s Day, no better person to network with, no more stimulating conversation to be in. Every person I am with has a unique contribution to make and I am thrilled to receive it, whatever it is.

I’m taking a risk this year and trusting that being present and listening for the answers about how to contribute will guide me correctly, each day and each week, creating new and better accomplishments with more impact and ease. SO far it’s working perfectly. The connections I have made with other’s a potent and full of business opportunity. Wonderful new clients have come my way and I am delighted to be of service to them!

What do you think? How would you feel approaching your business from this perspective?

Law of Attraction: Step One.

December 1st, 2008

• Accept and Love Yourself, All of You

• I’ve been studying self-healing/self-help for at least 20 years. And only recently I found a golden nugget of wisdom in a chicken’s carcass. I’m talking about a huge yet simple lesson I just got from picking that chicken apart, limb-by-limb. As I pulled the beautiful meat from the greasy bones, fat and skin, I finally understood the inner feeling of acceptance.

• I have spent years picking my life apart, searching for the piece of knowledge that would fix my pain. But as with the chicken, the yucky bits are as natural as the good. THIS IS GOLD. For me, this means:

• Accepting my own aging bones and less-than-perfect skin while embracing my beautiful smile, open heart and warm embrace.
• Accepting a dwindling bank account while confirming my ability to bring money into my life through clear intention and good work, like the biggest magnet in the world.
• Accepting self-doubt and fear of failure while honoring my continued great efforts and “I can” attitude.

• I could go on, but I think you see a pattern here. I get that it really does take the “good” and “bad” to make all of me, my entire being full of compassion, joy and imperfection. I am—we are—supposed to be this way… Human.

• I’ve heard it said many times, “we are all perfectly imperfect.” And I’ve always blown it off thinking, “Yeah, you might be, but I’m going to be Perfect.” What an uphill battle it’s been. Striving for perfection is of course a losing game – although I played it well and mostly looked like I was winning… except when I would feel trapped and depressed.

• ACCEPTANCE is key. Not just for others but for myself. Acceptance as if God, Spirit, Buddha, whatever you call this amazing energy, was living inside of me every moment, radiating unconditional love into every cell of my being. This is an opening to life, to living. Acceptance.

• I NOW KNOW that I am worth putting my dreams to paper and drawing my desires into my life. As the Law of Attraction suggests, we are what we think. Now, with this greater acceptance of the good and the imperfect, I can effectively use all the techniques I have shared with my clients about the Law of Attraction on myself.

Our Attitudes and Perceptions Shape Our Lives

November 28th, 2008

Written by Robin Dowdy

The law of attraction states that what we focus our energy upon expands. Focusing on love generates more love. Focusing on the wrongdoing of others generates more people doing wrong. We create our own experience.

When I first started my business, I focused on how I didn’t have enough money or clients. Despite my continual growth, I only saw the gaps in my calendar and bank account. I was stuck in “not enough.” When I was paid, I tossed the checks aside and didn’t deposit them for weeks rationalizing that I wasn’t attached to the money and could alleviate my fears. I thought I was using the law of attraction when I visualized my full client load and full bank account at times during the day, but lack motivated my overall demeanor. The book, The Soul of Money, by Lynne Twist, bridged the gap between my visions of “more” and my belief in “not enough.”

Twist refers to the concept of GREAT FULLNESS. She describes” grateful” as recognizing the GREAT FULLNESS of our lives, bank accounts, relationships, etc. It is experiencing our lives as being so full they are about to spill over to the rest of the world. I embodied this lesson of GREAT FULLNESS accidentally one day after receiving a check. I carelessly tossed the check onto the front steps where my kids sprayed the hose nearby. It hit me that in my attempt to be nonchalant about money, I was devaluing my client, their payment, and my own contribution. To truly experience GREAT FULLNESS, I needed to honor that check, express thanks to the universe for connecting me with this client, and deposit it into my account so that this money could spill over into the rest of the world. I immediately felt more full, connected to my client and the world, and more positive about my business. I felt possibility flow in.

Our attitudes and perceptions generate our lives. We have the power to choose lack, fear, and separateness, or fullness, trust, and connection. Regardless of what you seek more of in your life, start by nurturing what you already have. Honor the money that you do have. Connect with the people whom you already know and love them deeply. Nurture that car, house, or TV that you already have by treating it as if it was the most valuable one on the planet. That which we pay attention to expands. The GREAT FULLNESS of your current existence will fill you with possibility and lead to your dreams flowing in with ease.

Robin Dowdy is parent, educator, business owner and coach.

You can reach her at: Shine Through Coaching, Seattle, WA; 425.941.0819; robin.dowdy@gmail.com

Green office on a budget

October 13th, 2008

• Office Nomads is an amazing co-working space on Capitol Hill. When owners Jacob Sayles and Susan Evans opened their business in this very cool 1940’s building they wanted to give it warmth, functionality and playfulness while staying true to their green values… and keep the costs down.

• Too much to ask for a 5,000 square-foot office renovation? No way! At Natural Balance Home & Office, it is my job to listen to my clients’ needs and create a plan that fits — it’s amazing to see what a little paint, creative craiglisting and a cohesive design plan can do.

• Here were Office Nomads’ project priorities and process, all accomplished on a $2500.00 budget:

• Interior Design Goals

1. Create functional and organically beautiful working spaces to support monthly users, drop-in users and meeting/class/event needs.
2. Keep costs down to stay within budget
3. Use green consciousness in product choice
4. Value the Office Nomads community input and workplace during phased improvements

• The Process

1. Creating a style direction came first. The Office Nomads space, with interior brick walls, nicely divided rooms and pathways, and a tinge of 70’s flair, lent itself to a clean, contemporary, yet organic-feeling design. The look of contemporary antiques and accessories fit right in.
2. We chose a color palette to highlight the unique floor plan and warm neutral walls.
3. Deciding on main furniture pieces, desks and work chairs to ensure continuity and flexibility in layout and use was the next priority.
4. Choosing a striking table for the large conference room was important since this is a central focal point of the space. Jacob and Susan, with talented and crafty friends, took on the challenge of making this stunning table themselves. We added simple cherry wood chairs to complement the table.
5. The next challenge was finding couches and tables for the community work spaces. To stay on budget and commit to green design, we chose to re-use items located through craigslist and furniture liquidation stores.
6. We refurbished the kitchen with its old oak cabinets by painting them, and then added a fresh coat of paint to the walls. Repurposing shelving and creating extra counter space finished this small space nicely.
7. Adding pillows, artwork, and plants to soften the space without cluttering it gave it a nice final touch.
8. Still to be completed: Updating lighting and electrical, hanging a rotating art system, finishing out smaller conference spaces with a “library” look and back workroom called “the cave”, plus adding a community trophy wall and other personalized artistic touches.

• The Result

A unique, hip, comfortable, sustainable, playful work environment that supports all who work in the space… a home office away from home, “individuality without isolation.”

• To see this cool space in the flesh, come to the Office Nomads fall open house. Thursday, October 16 — 1617 Boylston Ave, Second Floor, Seattle, WA 98122